went out with my girlfriends...

hubby was joining us...

woke up at 9something...

prepared and make up myself...

bringing little brother along coz he meet up his friends at times square...

went out at nearly 10am...

before went out...mummy said alot of things that's hurt me bad and spoiled my whole day mood...

im so moody while im walking out...

have you enough???i already keep quiet coz i dun wanna argue...why you still wanna keep on saying alot of things that will hurt me???did you think about my feelings???i really feel hard to stay with u!!!in your heart...im so useless and brainless...then why you still wanna born me out???why???you know you spoiled my life!!!you make me feel so hard and you bring alot of sadness to me!!!im enough of u de!!!

reached times square around 10.40am...

brother went to have fun with his friends...

went to neway...there was alot of people...

sing with yvonne and sammie...

saw sister's message...tears dropping down uncontrolable...

my heart feel so sad and hard...

p/s:hubby sorry that make u worry...

at that moment...i hope that i can cry out as loud as i can...

i dun wanna control my sadness anymore...crying is de only way for me to release my sadness...

i cant do that coz hubby dun allowed me to cry...coz he dun wan that im sad...

somemore i dun hope my girls to worry about me...

i control my feelings...

finished at 1pm...accompany my girls to buy some stuff...

meet up sofia...jill cant meet us up coz she's no money out de...but i miss my baby daughter so much...

went to take sticker photo...de machine keep on got problem make us need to take many times...

de photo are nice...hubby wait us till fall asleep de...hehe...

*photo gonna upload soon*

went to sg.wang coz sammie looking for some shoes...but she cant get it...

went to pavilion...sammie and sofia were looking for some jobs...

hubby was looking some shirts for his sister at mickey shop...girls were looking some shoes at there...

while hubby and me were looking shirts...my girls dunno go where de...haih...

they went off didnt tell me at all...mayb im not important to them...

went out searching for them...finally saw them and sammie get her new shoes...

took our lunch at a restaurant...de decoration at there is nice...

but quite expensive...while waiting de food...girls keep on taking pictures...im just like transparent...mayb i think too much de...

i feel that they will be happy although without me...

bought baskin robbin...took some pictures with my girls...

before i separate with my girls...they keep on taking pictures...im just like out of de gang...

it was raining outside...walking back to sg.wang with umbrella...

walked around at sg.wang with hubby while waiting brother's call...

reached home around 7pm de...

im happy today...but de happiness i get today cant cover my sadness...

went to my room...sms sister...said out all my feelings(i know that no use)...tears keep on dropping like crazy...keep on release my sadness...fall asleep and woke up at 8.15pm...

took my bath...cried in de bathroom again...

im so sad...i feel so hard...alot of negative things coming out from my mind...

i have lost everything...

i have lost my parents...my friends and my life...

i feel that my friends dun need me anymore...they can be more happy without me...without me...they can get out of troubles...coz im de trouble maker for them...i make them worry about me with nonsense...

what is de meaning for me to live in de world anymore???

i have lost everything which is important to me...my life is hopeless and meaningless...

i have lost my friendship...i have lost my family love...

i have lost everything...

p/s:girls...you know...you are de most important friends in my life...coz i just have few of true friends in my life...but dunno why...i have de feelings that im gonna lost all of you...you know...when you all went off from mickey shop without inform me...my heart feel so hurt...why cant u all just tell me that u are leaving 1st...mayb im not important...its okie...

when my friends sad...i always tell them dun think so much...everything will be fine...dun be so sad...i feel that im so useless by saying all that kind of words...

i know how to tell people that kind of words...but when im sad...all that kind of words cant get into my mind...

my mind full of negative things...i hope to end my life now...

i feel so tired de...im tired of crying...im tired to suffer from sadness...

can i stop my life now???im so regret that i have been born out...

i need someone by my side now...but i know...although there's someone by my side...he/she cant help me get throught all of this...

my heart is full of sadness and tears...de only thing that i can do is crying...

19th december

woke up at 11something...

ate my breakfast and lunch...

prepared myself and went out at 12.45pm...

went to leisure mall watch ' Alvin and the chipmunks ' with my little brother and hubby...

mummy asked brother go back home tell her what i have done whole day...

she's so over!!!how can she like that???haih...

reached there at 1pm...bought de tickets...

separated with brother...went over buy some stuff alone...

met hubby at 2something...

movie start at 2.45pm...

de chipmunks are so cute...

de movie was nice...finished at 4something...

reached home and help mummy do de housework...

everything just like normal...

on de phone with sammie and sofia...

talking alot of stuff...

sammie just like busy with something...just like dun hv de time to talk with me...

slept at 1something...

damn boring at home...nothing to do...so update my blog...

look back all de pictures in my phone...

really took alot of pictures...

alot of memories flow in my mind...happiness and sadness...

wont ever forget all this memories...

coz that's my life...

time passed so fast...year 2007 gonna end de...

so fast im graduate from my secondary school de...

although i dun really like de school...but i will miss all de time i had spent there...

i will miss all my friends...teachers and so on...

*my table...*

look back at this picture...i miss my table so much...keke...i miss all de pictures i took in school...i miss all de crazy time im in school with my girls...

hope that our friendship will last forever...

i really dun wanna lost u all...coz u all are de most wonderful gift de god had given to me...

im so happy to have u all as my friends...coz u all always be my side no matter im sad or happy...

u all always share my sadness and happiness...i cant imagine how's my life gonna be if u all not beside me...

girls...thankx alot...my life is so wonderful with u all...muackx...

anyway...i will miss ur girls when im at de national service camp...

countdown:still have 12 more days im gonna left de...T.T

woke up at 10something...

im so sleepy...T.T...coz yesterday i slept at 3something...T.T

tell mummy that im going out...

prepared myself...

ate my breakfast at de kitchen...

mummy keep on saying that im childish...brainless...useless in front of grandma...

she so suckx!!!i really fed up on her de...

what can i do???i just can keep quiet...haih...

stupid family!!!old minded mother!!!

went out at 12something...

hubby fetching his parents to pavilion...

hubby and me went to sg.wang...

went to max's saloon find max and wing...

chit-chatting at there...long time didnt chat with them de...really miss them much...

after that accompany hubby to buy something...

meet hubby's friends...walked around with them...

before we left sg.wang...hubby went to buy a teddy bear for his little sister...

left there at 3.30pm...coz i need to reach home at 4pm...

im going for my yoga class which will start at 5pm...

damn jam on de way home...

reached home and change into my yoga suit...

de teacher was nice...really relax at there...

class finished at 6something...

went back home and rest for awhile...

took dinner and bath...updating blog...

damn tired...+_+"

dun really have things happen today...

woke up at 1.45pm...

ate two pieces of papaya and one orange as my lunch...

watching television till 3something...

went to my room reading comics...

whole day didnt talk with daddy and mummy...

coz dun wanna get scold by them de...

sometime i really dunno how to be a daughter...

lie at them cannot...tell them de truth get scold...

really feel hard with them...

they always think that they are right...im wrong...

they always thinking that having couple in this age are stupid...

im stupid...im useless...im brainless...

how can u all say that to me???im ur daughter...

why cant u all just try to stand at my side and think for me???

why u dun think about my feelings???

i always have my feelings de...im human...not a barbie doll...always must listen to u all...

i always keep quiet doesn't mean that im always wrong...

i keep quiet because i dun wanna argue...

coz i know...although i say out my feelings...

u also wont listen...coz in ur mind...im wrong...

i know u all very care me...i wan what u also will try to give me...

but i really hope that u can understand my feelings...

why others daddy and mummy can understand their daughter and not worry them to couple...why u cant same with them???

our mind should increase by de century...

i really feel hard to be ur daughter...

u really shouldn't born me out...i feel so hard coz im suffer in sadness and hurts...

just because of ur stupid old thinking...u make me feel so hard!!!

why cant u just try to change ur thinking so that u and me will be happy???!!!

aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!talk with u also waste my time!!!!

stubborn daddy and mummy!!!!

today whole day just boring at home...

thankx for my mummy!!!!

9soemthing my babe anne sms me...

she got some problem...haih...

anyway...anne...hope that u will be fine...

find me if u need me...i will always be there for u...